Today I've been thinking about this movie all day long, funny enough this is the only movie I have been able to put up with Jim Carrey and his rubber face and now I am debating if I'd go for the same procedure he wanted to go to erase his ex from his mind.
I knew this day would come, just I didn't expected to come this soon but yesterday a really good friend of mine told me he/she saw my ex outside a movie theatre hugging and kissing another man last tuesday....they seemed to be having so much fun and like they've known each other for a long time was the description of the scene....
"You must have been blind to not see it coming" - you might be saying right now, well yes, a bit...but specially when I saw her the thursday after that "tuesday" to finish signing some papers and she played the innocent card looking worried and pretending to be a bit unstable.
Am I pissed? nahhhh. Dissapointed? nahhh, Sad? nahhh (I swear, no to all the above) The word I am looking for is "Liberated". It brings me a huge peace of mind to know all this time I was honest and truthful. I followed my instincts about not hating or turning bitter towards her and it was the right choice all along. Do I want to become/stay best friends? HELL NO!
Careful, do not think I hate her...is not like that at all! but "friends?" that's a really important word for me, I can count all my friends with all ten fingers of my hand, they are extremely special and they have earned their spot in my heart all these years with trust, honesty, loyalty and support. We have had fights, difficult times, some periods of distance from each other but at the end, we're just a phone call away.
I can't remember any of my friends lying to me...as hard as I can think, nothing like that comes to my mind, but her...well....the reasons for this breakup to have place were that she needed time and space, she was leaving away to work in the army, she wasn't ready to date again and she hated men! It doesn't seem to be what my friend saw last tuesday night...
At the end....good for her! Hope she's happy!
"Are you some kind of Masochist f...?" Not really...I rather know that she's happy and already found someone that maybe keep on thinking the idea that the decision we took was the wrong one and we're both suffering on our end. She already found someone else, that just means IT'S TIME TO MOVE ON!
Now, the second question would be...Am I ready to date? Hmmmmm tough one...
I'd rather say no, I rather enjoy being with myself a little bit more...to be honest, I have never had the chance to be alone and this is my opportunity. The whole idea of this blog was to document the progress of a man who's had his heart broken and the healing process while preparing for a 6-8 month trip where he hopes he'll find himself and some answers....that means traveling alone, so I can consider this training.
I must admit i find the idea of spending too much time with myself a bit terrifying, what if I like it so much that I don't miss being in the company of someone else?
I don't think it will get to that point but one thing for sure....I am enjoying my alone time right now.
Well readers....this is it for this 4th post, thing will get better for the next one I promise :)
For one door that closes another one opens and this door just got slammed!
The last one to leave, please turn off the light.....
Hello,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to read what you think, that is a big step. Just give yourself some time and maybe you have to be serene to decide what to do with your life, is gonna be difficult but not impossible, plus you have friends all around the world, maybe you need some distance from your actual world to be again yourself, clear your mind and breath another winds. Just try my friend!!!