Wow, how to start this third post....? Let me try to find the words as I go...
It's unreal how since my last post I have heard from 5 close friends who are in different parts of the world and they have all contacted me to let me know they are either getting divorced or breaking up....being dumped or dumping someone...2 of them even called me THE SAME DAY!!!
Did I jinx them? I'd like to think not, but one think I'm pretty sure about is that watching some couples from the "single point of view" is been completely different than when I was with someone...it's almost like I've been given the super hero powers of X-Rays (ok, that's my inner nerd talking out loud)
But I seem to see things I never saw before, like them not being totally happy or couples on the street fighting for the most silly things. Could it have been that I didn't notice because at one moment I was doing the same things and thinking it was normal behaviour?
3 months have changed me a lot, I can't say I am fully recovered (I am a human being after all) but I do see things much clear now and why sometimes as much as it hurts, things must come to an end...
Are all people meant to be together or with someone? I believe yes...but you must put a hell of an expedition search in order to find that special one who will accept you exactly the way you are, fat, skinny, pretty, ugly, interesting or boring. It doesn't matter, but he/she should be willing to accept the fact of who you are and most importantly, we should accept the fact of who they are and love them for who they are!
A friend of mine (or like the Dude Lebowski would say: "My special lady friend, man") told me something it made a mark when I was debating if I had lost 9 years of my life on the wrong person. She said "She wasn't the person for all your life, she was just the person for 9 years of your life. The contract has expired and it's time to move on"
The Dalai Lama couldn't have said it better! Maybe people DO have expiration dates, don't we do the same thing with all the material possessions we have in life once we get bored of them? When we got and Atari we switched for Intellivision, then Colleco, then Nintendo, then Sega Genesis, then X-Box, then Play Station 1, 2, 3....(then my inner geek came out again and started talking out loud)
What if the same rule applied to people and the person we love??
Well, obviously I am not an expert on the subject otherwise I would continue being "happily ever after"
but I do wanna share some of the great advice I got from closer friends, people I know and strangers...if you are reading them and recognize any of as yours, feel very proud because they did help me a lot to see things more clearly and feel as strong as I do now
So, dear friends from Mexico, Spain, Canada and Venezuela (you know who you are) these are for you.
- "She wasn't the one for the rest of your life, she just was the one for 9 years of it"
- "Things happen for a reason, you might not see it now, but soon you will"
- "Bitches be crazy"
- "You once were a lawyer, it is time you start thinking like one now"
- "Divorce is both harder and easier than people make it out to be"
- "Do you want me to jump on a plane and be there next week?"
- "If it hurts, it's totally normal, it is because you're human"
- "Do you want me to kick the shit out of her?"
- "Life's a bitch x 2 sometimes"
- "Take the time to enjoy being with yourself"
and last but no least...."What do you want to do? What would make you happy?"
I have to give special mention to a book I found by fluke. It is called "Storms Can't Hurt the Sky" by Gabriel Cohen. I read it back to back in 4 days while doing long tedious commutes from "Jokeville" to Toronto. It reassured to me that I had taken the right path by choosing not to hate and fill myself with anger. Less baggage to carry with me and it kinda made me put myself in the other person's shoes for certain moments to help understand her point of view and accept the ending results.
More important, the difference between taking some deserved time and distance without keeping in contact and hating or being bitter with the person who might have hurt you. Very important to know.
Friends, you know you can count on me, anytime, anywhere, anyway. You were there for me!
Pay it Forward!
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